segunda-feira, agosto 22, 2005

É tudo por causa da miopia





Após algum tempo de reflexão, o nosso ministro da A. I. chegou à conclusão de que efctivamente há fogos no país e que a culpa não é dos bombeiros nem dele, é claro, e que só agora pediu ajuda aos parceiros europeus, porque pensava que tinha os meios aéreos adequados para ajudar na luta contra os incêndios. Tudo por causa da miopia. É que min. emprestou os seus óculos ao 1º ministro em safari no Quénia, para ele não confundir animais uns com os outros. Esta medida de haver um só par de óculos por cada 3 membros do governo insere-se nas opções para poupança de reservas que o governo resolveu adoptar, o que tem feito com que o ministro das finanças, o terceiro membro desta "troika ocular", já não veja nada há muito tempo.
Voltando ao assunto que nos traz aqui, foi a falta de óculos que fez com que ele confundisse o Canadair (na foto) com as compras que o dr. Portas (noutra foto) fez no estranjeiro(noutra foto ainda). Os vinte e tal pilotos que foram treinados (dizem as más línguas) em Espanha e que após várias tentativas não conseguiram fazer descolar os tais coisos que o dr. Ports comprou é que o avisaram que deveria haver engano.
O nosso comentador encartado Macaco Rabino de Lousa,(noutra foto, ainda) quando por nós instado a comentar este caso disse " é imperativo dotar o governo de mais meios para ver o que se passa. Cortem na saúde por exemplo, mas dêm óculos aos ministros, pois a arder desta forma o nosso país ainda vai ao fundo, numa alusão tanto às viagens turísticas de barco no Algarve, como às compras do dr. Portas.
Quisemos saber as opiniões de Celeste Cardona e de Armando Vara, mas pelo facto de estarem de férias algures na CGD não foi possível contactá-los.
Os outros 9 milhões, 999mil, 996 portugueses não foram contactados porque já é hábito ninbguém querer saber deles para nada.
A ordem desorganizada das fotografias é propositada. Assim fica a saber se está atento e se sabe quem é quem e oque é o quê na política portuguesa.

Cuecas de gola alta

9 comentários:

Dama Pé de Cabra disse...

Dama Pé de Cabra

De acordo com o velho ditado francês Après la pluie le beau temps e invertendo a ordem dos factores que sabemos ser arbitrária....poderíamos dizer que après le beau temps la pluie...quer isto dizer que depois dos incêndios, vamos ter de começar a preocupar-nos com as cheias...se as saídas de esgoto não forem limpas de folhas secas e outros detritos, mais uma vez determinadas zonas de Leiria,e muitos outros locais de Portugal, parecerão uma Veneza desprovida de glamour...enfim...uma Veneza de trazer por casa....e é uma casa portuguesa com certeza....

Anónimo disse...

brilhante artigo...que imaginação! é pena que sejamos ainda tão poucos a ler este blog, que por mero acaso li hoje pela 1ª vez.


Mas tenho a certeza, para bem dos leirienses, que voces vão longe.
"cuecas ao sol"

Dama Pé de Cabra disse...

Lets look at a trailer!!!

Políticas aparte...será que alguém é capaz de me explicar porque é que em Leiria se paga mais para ver um filme mau do que um bom? basta ver os preços praticados pelo Teatro José Lúcio da Silva e pelo Miguel Franco, no Mercado Santana, para nos interrogarmos da lógica da questão...embora, em abono da verdade, os filmes bons nem sempre sejam bons....

E Será que alguém me pode explicar também, porque é que com 4 salas de cinema em Leiria, temos sempre a desagradável surpresa de saber que só temos 3 filmes para ver? sim...porque invariávelmente no Teatro José Lúcio da Silva e numa das Salas do Castello Lopes vão filmes repetidos....

Anónimo disse...

Em cada 100 euros que o patrão paga pela minha força de trabalho, o Estado, e
muito bem, tira-me 20 euros para o IRS e 11 euros para a Segurança Social.


O meu patrão, por cada 100 euros que paga pela minha força de trabalho é
obrigado a dar ao Estado, e muito bem, mais 23,75 euros para a Segurança Social.



E por cada 100 euros de riqueza que eu produzo, o Estado, e muito bem, retira
ao meu patrão outros 33 euros.

Cada vez que eu, no supermercado, gasto os 100 euros que o meu patrão pagou, o
Estado, e muito bem, fica com 2 euros para si.

Em resumo:

- Quando ganho 100 euros, o Estado fica quase com 55.

- Quando gasto 100 euros, o Estado, no mínimo, cobra 21.

- Quando lucro 100 euros, o Estado enriquece 33.

- Quando compro um carro, uma casa, herdo um quadro, registo os meus negócios
ou peço uma certidão, o Estado, e muito bem, fica com quase metade das verbas
envolvidas no caso.

Eu pago e acho muito bem, portanto exijo:



Um sistema de ensino que garanta cultura, civismo e futuro emprego para o meu
filho.


Serviços de saúde exemplares.



Um hospital bem equipado a menos de 20 km da minha casa.



Estradas largas, sem buracos e bem sinalizadas em todo País. Auto-estradas sem
portagens.



Pontes que não caiam. Tribunais com capacidade para decidir processos em menos
de um ano.



Uma máquina fiscal que cobre igualitariamente os impostos.


Eu pago, e por isso quero ter, quando lá chegar, a reforma garantida e jardins
públicos e espaços verdes bem tratados e seguros.


Polí­cia eficiente e equipada.

Os monumentos do meu País bem conservados e abertos ao público, uma orquestra
sinfónica.



Filmes criados em Portugal. E, no mínimo, que não haja um único caso de fome e
miséria nesta terra.

Na pior das hipóteses, cada 300 euros em circulação em Portugal garantem ao
Estado 100 euros de receita.



Portanto Sr. Primeiro Ministro, governe-se com o dinheirinho que lhe dou porque
eu quero e tenho direito a tudo isto.

Um(a) português(a) contribuinte.


(Meus amigos .... Este é seguramente um email que todos temos a obrigação de
passar).

abreijos Aeminienses

Dama Pé de Cabra disse...

Sugeria que este nosso espaço fosse usado não apenas para comentários políticos mas que fossem feitas intervenções a nível cultural e social sobre temas que afligem os leirienses (e não só)embora os fogos continuem aí.....o governo seja o mesmo....e a Presidente da Câmara (por enquanto) seja a mesma.... diversificar as nossas intervenções e estender um pouco o âmbito delas, só iria enriquecer o blog e torná-lo mais participado.

Dama Pé de Cabra disse...

Passo a transcrever um artigo de um conhecido jornalista americano que me parece muito importante para analisarmos o que se passou nos EUA recentemente. Se bem que ultrapasse em muito as nossa pequenas misérias do dia a dia de Leiririenses, acho importante alargarmos um pouco o âmbito das nossas intervenções....vai mesmo em Inglês...afinal é uma das paixões do Eng. Sócrates...aprendermos a falar Inglês antes de falar Português...estou certa que todos dominam a língua (sorriso irónico)

Dear Mr. Bush:
Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted.
Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help
finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that adrag.
Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping wit national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with?
Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and mothers of dead soldiersto ignore and smear. You sure showed her!
I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?
And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how
you specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New
Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them
that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there
weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!
On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on some rubble
and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that.
There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try touse it against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen
because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane that was so
wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland.
No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30
percent of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race has nothing --NOTHING -- to do with this!You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army
helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.
Yours,
Michael Moore

Dama Pé de Cabra disse...

Passo a transcrever um artigo de um conhecido jornalista americano que me parece muito importante para analisarmos o que se passou nos EUA recentemente. Se bem que ultrapasse em muito as nossa pequenas misérias do dia a dia de Leiririenses, acho importante alargarmos um pouco o âmbito das nossas intervenções....vai mesmo em Inglês...afinal é uma das paixões do Eng. Sócrates...aprendermos a falar Inglês antes de falar Português...estou certa que todos dominam a língua (sorriso irónico)

Dear Mr. Bush:
Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted.
Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help
finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that adrag.
Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping wit national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with?
Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and mothers of dead soldiersto ignore and smear. You sure showed her!
I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?
And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how
you specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New
Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them
that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there
weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!
On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on some rubble
and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that.
There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try touse it against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen
because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane that was so
wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland.
No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30
percent of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race has nothing --NOTHING -- to do with this!You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army
helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.
Yours,
Michael Moore

Dama Pé de Cabra disse...

Passo a transcrever um artigo de um conhecido jornalista americano que me parece muito importante para analisarmos o que se passou nos EUA recentemente. Se bem que ultrapasse em muito as nossa pequenas misérias do dia a dia de Leiririenses, acho importante alargarmos um pouco o âmbito das nossas intervenções....vai mesmo em Inglês...afinal é uma das paixões do Eng. Sócrates...aprendermos a falar Inglês antes de falar Português...estou certa que todos dominam a língua (sorriso irónico)

Dear Mr. Bush:
Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted.
Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help
finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that adrag.
Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping wit national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with?
Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and mothers of dead soldiersto ignore and smear. You sure showed her!
I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?
And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how
you specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New
Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them
that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there
weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!
On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on some rubble
and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that.
There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try touse it against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen
because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane that was so
wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland.
No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30
percent of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race has nothing --NOTHING -- to do with this!You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army
helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.
Yours,
Michael Moore

just me disse...

Já agora, alguém me pode informar quais são as propostas dos candidatos à Câmara de Leiria? E onde as posso consultar?